Combating the Doormat Syndrome Part II-Sister Up and Pay Your Speakers

Last week I wrote  about how it’s a big disconnect to be an organization or association whose mission is to advance the status and livelihoods of women, and yet fail to pay speakers and experts for their contributions. (Why Women’s Organizations Need to Sister Up and Pay Speakers.

 This week, I’m giving you the script for asking asking your current sponsors (whether they are simply lending their name to your organization, or paying) to join you in raising the bar for women, promoting your common commitment to women in business, doing your part to end the wage and leadership gaps, and providing good business benefits to each other.

First, the Objections

I hear things like, “Oh, but we have a policy. We don’t pay any of our speakers.” And to that I say, really? Sounds like it’s time for change in policy. It’s the emperor’s new clothes, and we women are running around acting like it’s a perfectly sound business strategy.

I also hear things like, “Well, we already have sponsors for our conferences and awards dinners, I just don’t think they’d step up and pay more.” Or, “You know the economy is in the tank. It’s just not good timing.” Or, “Everybody knows it’s good marketing to speak for free.”

That last one drives me crazy. While it’s true that speaking for free to groups that are a perfect match to your market is a good idea as you start out, and then again when you’re fat and rich. But for those in the middle, it’s not sustainable. You can’t put free on the dinner table, and you risk developing a mindset of being worth less that trickles into every area of your business.

If you’re in leadership in a women’s association, it’s time to get beyond this myopic thinking and get creative with your current and potential sponsors.

Continue at Forbes Woman

Combating the Doormat Syndrome-No Free Speaking Engagements

We women know that giving away our services for free is bad for business, just as we know saying yes to every invite and project at work is bad for our career. Both practices perpetuate the doormat syndrome.

While we’re developing our businesses and ramping up our careers, we speak at professional associations and networking groups for free because, as author and women’s leadership expert Selena Rezvani writes here, the gold-standard belief is that our generosity will benefit our reputation and our pocketbook somewhere down the line.

In the course of a year, I’m asked, usually by women, to do a lot of these events at a rate of – you guessed it – zero dollars. “We’re a non-profit,” some groups will say. “Our budget is miniscule,” others explain. Still others apply pressure with, “We’ve had years of speakers who were willing to do it for free.” Even so, “something” for “nothing” does not equate to a deal and these organizations need to take a closer look at what they’re asking of women.

Continue at Forbes Woman

Teaching People How You Want to be Treated

Let’s say you’re a consultant and a speaker and you’re talking with someone in an organization who wants to engage you for a presentation. You say yes, they say great, you say your fee is $4,000 and they say they have no budget for speakers.

Gloria Feldt is a feminist activist and speaker and author of  No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change the Way We Think About Power. She responds to those who say they can’t pay her fee with this:

I am asked to speak constantly. And I love it. I'm very passionate and committed to this cause. And, I do charge for my speaking engagements. Just as you may have no budget for speakers, I have no budget if I am not paid to speak.

Gloria’s response demonstrates how she wants to be treated. Respected. Honored. And paid. And it’s not the end of the conversation, but the new beginning.

Because of the perplexing fact that many women’s organizations, even those prestigious ones we won’t name here, have a stated policy against paying their speakers, it is vital that we convey our dismay and look for ways to change the status quo.

For those of us who are working for the advancement of women in any capacity, it’s also imperative to identify the elephant in the living room:

Victoria and I might say, “I’d like you to consider revising your policy. How can we walk the talk if we, whose mission it is to train women how to negotiate in an effort to close the wage and leadership gaps, cannot open the door for ourselves? If we are to achieve equity in our lifetime, we need to model it at every opportunity, and so do you.”

It’s bold, imperative, and tells the world how you want to be treated, and how your bargaining partner should also want to be treated.

So let’s get practical. Here are some diagnostic questions that might help you move the conversation forward, equitably:

• Would it be helpful to brainstorms way in which I can meet your needs and you might be able to meet mine?
• What is your budget for this event?
• How might we engage your donors or sponsors to hnor their commitment to you by carrying the expense for my talk?
• If you could have me as your keynote as well as a breakout session, would that sweeten the pot for you and your sponsors?
• What if you were to split the payment in two or three chunks, would that be helpful?

Where are you trading working for living for working for free?

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