...and there I am again, kicking, punching, and scratching. Another boy astonished that he was bruised. A pattern repeated so many times I thought there might be something wrong with me. Not them, but me.
"I appreciate that, and I just want to put this into perspective. Last year, I brought in $15MM, a year-over-year increase of nearly 50% and nearly half of total revenues. It just happens that $150,000 is literally one percent of the value I brought to this company last year. Right now, I'm making less than one percent. So what I’m asking is for you to consider my compensation to be in line with my level of contribution."
In the fourth installment of Fearless Asking, we're exploring the three levels of listening and how they impact your negotiation success. Level 1: me me me. Level 2: In to the heart of the other, curious. Level 3: Reading the room at global level. Successful negotiators, influential people and trained coaches listen at level 2 and 3.
In the third installment of Fearless Asking, we're getting clear on what our negotiation conversation partners want and why. Getting clear on what we want and why as well as what they want and why helps us find common ground and mutual benefit. To do this, ask open ended questions, such as "What are your desired outcomes?" "What are your concerns?" Or "How can we solve this problem so that we can both get what we want?"
In the first installment of Fearless Asking, I review three core principles that inspire Fearless Asking and invite you to dig deeper into your higher purpose. What do you want to ask for? What purpose does it serve? How does it connect to what fulfills and brings you joy?
The whole family gathers around the dining room table for the big announcement. Where did your millennial decide to go to college? And then, you hear “it." The two words you’ve been dreading most:Community. College.
Last year, American charities received a record-breaking $373 BILLION dollars in donations. It's equivalent to the annual GDP of Austria. It's also the result of a great deal of well-prepared and persistent asks.
In his excellent book Never Split the Difference, former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss explains there are three basic types of negotiators: Assertive, Analyst and Accommodator. Each has different needs, interpretation of time and silence, strengths and weaknesses.
How gratifying would it be if negotiating for yourself was simply a matter of stomping into your manager's office, slamming down a list of demands and watching your manager fumble for words as they sheepishly acquiesce to all your demands, lest you take your invaluable services elsewhere?
If you manage people, you may have noticed that you spend quite a bit of time negotiating with people over timelines, deliverables, and accountability regarding a given task. And, perhaps more often than you like, you delegate a task and instead of job done, you get a long list of reasons why the assignment was impossible to accomplish, along with lots of apologies and mea culpas.
I knew no amount of social science research, gender wage gap data, or speechifying would convince her to step up and ask for more. Not until she gives up the belief that money and power are bad, rather than resources she can use for good.