Fearless Asking #3: What Do They Want and Why? (video)

First part of negotiation preparation is self-exploration. What do you want and why? What's the higher purpose of your asking? 

In this third installment of Fearless Asking, I invite you to put yourself in the shoes of your negotiation counterpart. What do they want and why do they want it? What is their higher purpose? 

If you're not sure, ask them open-ended questions. Questions like, "What is your desired outcome?" "What are your concerns?" And "What's the purpose of this desired outcome?" 

The aim in mutual benefit negotiation is to find the common ground. When you're clear on your why and their why, it becomes much easier to find and to articulate mutual benefit. 

At work, you and your counterpart may be both motivated to get the project done on time and within budget. If you work for the same company, then you share the common objective of meeting the company's goals or fulfilling the organization's mission. 

Mutual benefit negotiation is -- unlike a confrontation -- like a joint white-board session, where you and your counterpart sit side to side to come up with solutions to a common problem. 

So what common ground do you share with your negotiation counterpart? I invite you to brainstorm on paper all the pain points, fears, desires and higher purpose that you may share with them. This will help you find and articulate mutual benefit. 

P.S. Join me at Strategic Conversations: How to Negotiate, Influence and Lead on 1/31/18 at Work Social in NJ for a day of experiential learning, live coaching and more.